My hubby and I have been house hunting for over a year. We are mostly on the same page, but at times, impatience with the whole thing has one or both of us on edge. Spending a huge chunk of money, where the TV will go, if a split-level is a no-go, commitment in general. Today we had a virtual spat via text as to whether a home was worth seeing. I realized, contrary to popular belief, that texting is a great way to communicate when emotions are high. Here are a few reasons why:
1) This morning let my rage fly as I swiped away. I was forced to parse down my thoughts in to text-sized nuggets. I could delete and rephrase before I hit send. I could only “speak” as fast as I could swype and I had to stop to edit the incorrect autocorrect . These features unique to text force us to evaluate what we are saying to the other person before they hear it. It is almost like thinking before you speak! This doesn’t always happen in real-time, ya know 😉 But it is a great strategy to having a great discussion.
2) People say that one of the downfalls of e-communication is inflection and tone is lost, and you may interpret the content incorrectly. During some conversations, you don’t need to hear the inflection; and if you don’t know the inflection, it is better that way. 🙂 Taking inflection, body language, and facial expression off of the table as a communication tool forces us to look at the words. We can respond to WHAT is being said rather than HOW it is being said.
3) Going along with number 3, we don’t get loud and we have to take turns. Raising a voice or even using a strained voice is counterproductive to sorting things out. With texting, ALL CAPS is almost funny in its juvenility. We can get all of our thoughts out without interrupting each other or without accidental meanness coming out of our mouths.
4) There is a record of what is said. Sometimes, when discussions get heated, the main points that we want to be communicated are forgotten because everyone is just trying to win. With texting, viewpoints don’t have to be repeated ad nauseam because they are “on the record.” It is almost like having a mediator because the dialogue is being held and recorded by a non-judgemental “third party.”
5) In a weird way, texting is calming. It is almost like journaling or blogging. Your thoughts are out there in the ether and you used a sensory experience via your fingertips to get them there.
6) The issue is more often resolved. By the time we pick up the phone to talk, we have either hashed out the major details of the issue at hand, or the heated moment has passed and we have moved on. Generally after we are done texting about a big issue, we pick up the phone to discuss the results. It is almost like the post-game huddle. All the dust has settled, and we can move forward. It is nice always knowing the phone will be answered with love and understanding in the other person’s voice!
Do you ever text to sort things out? Do you find it to be helpful?