I have been a Person of Target for as long as I can remember. My mom used to take us to the one four blocks from our home on the weekly, when it was still just a modest sundry-stocked chain. I remember hiding in the circular racks while my mom sifted through the hangers, then staring at rows and rows of Barbie’s and baby dolls in the toy aisle. I used to joke that the photo department was one of my first memories. That was my Home Target. I have come of age with Target over the years: walking there with my sisters during our pre-teen years, buying shoes and a clutch for a homecoming dance in high school, getting M&Ms and a movie on a junk food run in college, etc. My love affair deepened as the NEW TARGET era (N.T.) swept the nation a half-decade ago, and my Home Target expanded into all of its complete-grocery, must-have-seasonal and Starbucks-cup-holder-genius glory. I found a new Home Target when I moved away, where I feel as much at home as I did finding my mom in the shoe section at age 8.
Now, besides being a Person of Target I am a Mom of Target, and I will maintain, a self-made expert. I was beholden to put together this list of other Moms of Target and their characteristics for your shopping convenience on your next Home Target outing. See if you can recognize yourself here:
1) The stay-at-home mom: Target is an important social outing in her weekly calendar. You can identify her by her coffee in hand and lack of merchandise in the cart. She is there to socialize not only her baby, but herself since she has not had an adult conversation in two days. She has a tendency to sidle up to anyone with children in hopes of a chance of exchanging a smile or a wave. Be kind to her; you are her new friend!
2) The brand new mom: This mommy is on her first outing with her very adorable 4 week baby. Mommy may have gotten dressed for the first time in a while, and this may be her first foray back into the world outside of her nest. Daddy may be along-side. They are choosing between Carter’s bum character onesies, and eventually decide on both. Pacis, diapers and nursing bras are also on their list. Make sure to coo over their baby and tell Mommy she looks great!
3) The must-be-blogger mom: A rare sighting, this mom makes a Target outing look glam. Her kiddo’s outfits are perfect; her hair and make-up are flawless. She is effortlessly pulled together, and is simultaneously doting on her children and photo documenting each cutesy move. Naturally she is here for the seasonal swag and craft supplies, with which she will create delightful childhood memories to blog about. Why can’t I…?
4) The seasoned mom: With 3-4 kids in tow and perhaps a husband, this mom at the weekly Target trip to get all of the necessities in between practice and dinner. Her cart is full to the brim with groceries, toiletries and new athletic shoes. Her kids age 8 and under know the drill and are on the mission with her. Watch for a herd and a fast-moving cart!
5) The working mom: This mom is super-busy and is grabbing Cliff bars and dinner items before swinging by daycare and heading to the gym. She needs no cart; she expertly juggles her venti, cell-phone and merch. She’ll multitask at the checkout; it’s gonna be in and out.
6) The mom’s-day-off mom: This mom has not had a break in a while, and stumbled out of the house at her MIL’s instructions, for some “me” time. She tries to remember how to shop, she is not quite sure what to do with herself alone, and she may look lost. You will see her also with a frap in hand perusing the cosmetics section of the store. Later she is idly wandering around clothing and eventually lands in the children’s department where she will make the bulk of her purchases. She will leave for home sooner than she should.
7) The soon-to-be mom: You can I.D. this mom by her burgeoning bump. She shops maternity, cribs and car seats. You nod knowingly and approvingly. Another one for Team Target. 🙂
Now you know who you are. Happy Shopping!